Why is he pulling away?

Men pull away for different reasons. I would be sharing with you five reasons he is pulling away. These are reasons outside “he doesn’t love you”, “you aren’t the one”, “you’ve made it too easy”, etc. I won’t like to speak for all men but studies have shown that most men tend to pull away for the following reasons:

1.Respect: Respect to a man means love. A man is egoistic in nature, he wants to be held in high esteem and be shown consideration and appreciation—even when he makes mistakes. He wants to be seen as a hero, especially in the eyes of the woman he loves. He needs someone to believe in him when the odds are stacked against him. When you disrespect your man by being unappreciative, corrective, demeaning, ridiculing, ignoring, or discounting, it will hurt him. If a man doesn’t feel respected, he’s likely to hate you, become insulting, bug-eyed, and generally gross. This is the reason some marriages are at the edge of divorce. Your attitude should show respect. Try to pass your message to the opposite sex as respectful as possible even when you just want to bawl. Trying to change a man might be disrespectful to him except you’re smart about it. Dear fellow lady, please don’t ignore your man’s need for respect.

“Wives, respect and obey your husbands in the same way. Then the husbands who do not obey the word of God will want to know God. They will want to know God because their wives live good lives, even though they say nothing about God.They will see that you live holy lives and respect your husbands”. 1 Peter 3:1-2{WE version}

2. Physical beauty: It is common to hear that men are attracted by what they see. As common as this saying is, it can’t be any less true. A man needs respect the most but what attracts him to you is your beauty. Take your time to dress well and be well groomed. No sis, you don’t have to break a bank. A married woman has the tendency to slack in this area. If you’re married and you’re reading this post, please take out time for yourself. We know marriage can be overwhelming especially when the kids come in, nevertheless take out time to refresh.

P.S: If you want to lose weight, you can check out @askdamz on Instagram. [Not a paid ad}

3. Comparison/Nagging: When you compare your man to another man or when you nag, you communicate his deepest fear to him. A man’s deepest fear is that he is not good enough or that he is incompetent. He compensates for this fear by focusing on increasing his power and competence. Success, achievement, and efficiency are foremost in his life. A man appears most uncaring when he is afraid.

4. Unhappy/Disappointed: It is difficult for a man to listen to a woman when she is unhappy or disappointed because he feels like a failure. No man wants to feel like a failure.

5. He has a lot in his mind/ He needs to find himself: The way men deal with issues is different from how women deal with issues. Compared to women who prefer to talk about their problem, men want to solve their’s on their own. They only need you to believe in them. If you try to make them talk, you would only push them farther. The best thing to do is to leave them alone. Take out time to focus on yourself, go shopping, mingle with your friends, etc. He’d come out when he’s ready. If you ever watched Skinny Girl in Transit Season 5, I’m sure you noticed Mide’s change of attitude when he lost his father. Tiwa tried to be there for him but it only infuriated him.

References:

  • Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus- John Gray
  • Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage-Mark Gungor

I hope this post has been helpful. You can always share your view in the comment section below. I look forward to interacting with you. Thanks for reading.

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15 Comments

  1. Thanks sis, please permit me to say that both sexes feel almost the same way concerning the five things you talked about. Please feel free to correct me if am wrong. A Lady who knows her worth will pull away if she is being disrespected, or her husband is nagging and so on. An average human being pulls away when they are unhappy or disappointed..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re right but when it comes to men, it’s quite different. I’m sure you’d agree with me that the way men are wired is different from women. Men are egoistic in nature, they can’t stand disrespect compared to women. When a woman is bothered, she wants to talk but when a man is bothered, he wants to be left alone. He wants to find solution by himself. If as a woman you aren’t aware of this, you’d likely get angry when he doesn’t share it with you. When a woman shares something bothering her with a man, he is likely to give her a solution because he’s more of a “fix it” person. Why does a boy want to play/watch ball when a girl just wants to play with a doll? It’s because we reason differently. Trust me when I say a woman can put up with disrespect more than a man can. It’s like you’re setting them on fire. I’m sure you’ve seen men who aren’t that good looking marry very pretty ladies. This is because women are more attracted to the words of a man than his look but with men, it’s looks. The truth is as much as the male and female gender are both humans, we are quite different and the lack of knowledge of this can set a marriage on fire. I can send you a copy of John Gray’s book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”. I hope I clarified one or two things sis.

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